By Phil Liaboe
#1 – THE MEDICAL CENTER CHANGE
My eyes snapped open in our pitch-black bedroom at 3:30 am on November 22, 2023. I had a commanding need to research and find a different medical center. Right then. Not later. I reached for my iPad from the nightstand and began searching for medical centers in Boston than perform heart transplants with cardiologists that have a specialty in cardiac sarcoidosis.
I was currently being treated at Tufts Medical Center. I had been on the heart transplant list for 3 years. Tufts is a leader in heart transplants in the area. My cardiologist had recently announced she was leaving for career advancement and moving to Cleveland. She had a specialty in cardiac sarcoidosis, which I needed.
In addition, Tufts Medical had made the decision to close the in-patient pediatric unit known affectionally as Tufts Floating Hospital for Children (renamed Tufts Children’s Hospital). My grandson was being treated there for T-Cell Lymphoma. He was 3 years old at time. Patients were given a date the unit would close, and families needed to find treatment elsewhere. This was devastating news to my daughter and son-in-law and our whole family. We were all part of a group that attempted to lobby Tufts leadership to reverse the decision. We failed. It closed.
A few other little things had happened in addition to those 2 key issues for me. I loved all the doctors and nurses who treated me. I hated to leave but felt it was the right move. These non-medical issues ate at me.
So, after some research in the wee early morning hours of Nov 22, 2023, I dropped an email into a general mail box shown on the web site at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center Cardiology Department. I had found a cardiologist there with a cardiac sarcoidosis specialty. I closed my iPad and went back to sleep.
I woke up again later that morning at around 7 am ready to start my day and opened my iPad. I was stunned to see an email reply from Beth Israel. I opened it. The email was from a doctor telling me someone would be in touch. Wow! That’s strange. Beth Israel is a big institution. 766 beds and 760,000 outpatient visits annually. A doctor picked up and replied to my email in 2 hours. At 6 am.
Then at a few minutes past 8 am that very same morning my cell phone rang. I see it’s Beth Israel Deaconess calling. I answered the call and was shocked to hear a very nice woman on the phone telling me she was calling to set me up as a patient and open a file. In addition, she was going to start the process of setting up all the specialist meetings I would need have to transfer my transplant wait list status from Tufts to Beth Israel.
I told her I was flabbergasted by the speed of their response. Her exact words to me in reply were: “Well, this is a very serious business.” She proceeded to get 8 meetings with various specialists locked in over 2 consecutive days. Those meetings are detailed in this blog in an earlier post. 3 months later in early February 2024 I had a heart transplant.
What a remarkable and unlikely series of events that happened there. It still boggles my mind to think about it. I know what you are thinking. They responded so quickly because they want the money my transplant would bring. That does not hold water. There is no shortage of people who need heart transplants. There is a tremendous shortage of hearts available.
#2 – LONG TERM DISABILITY INSURANCE
I am a notoriously frugal individual. I don’t like to spend money on anything. It’s OK if its safety related. I always make sure the cars have great tires. Years ago, our old grill had flames shooting out the back of the rusty casing. Lauren asked if that qualified for replacement as a matter of safety. Always the wise ass. I have loosened up over time and I am better now. I was told I used to throw around nickels like they were manhole covers. A true Minnesota Lutheran.
When our insurance guy tried to pitch me on long term disability insurance 25 years ago I barely listened. I had just converted our whole life policy to term insurance because it was cheaper for higher coverage. I had even raised the coverage because now we had 3 girls. Then like all very good salespeople he asked a probing question. He asked, “Hey, what if something happens to you and you can’t work?” He knew my wife did not work outside the home. My income was our only income.
He proceeded to give me examples of things that could happen. I could get into a car wreck. I could fall off a ladder. I could get cancer or some other illness. He waited for my reply. I did not have one. I signed up for a long-term disability policy. Twice a year I held my nose and wrote a check for $870. $1,740 annually. Every single time I wrote that check I thought “What a waste.” I did that for 25 years.
Then, at 59 years old I was diagnosed with advanced heart failure. I was a sales Director in a large company. Which means in 40 years of sales work I had started at the bottom and worked my way all the way to the middle. My employer, who I had faithfully served with good performance for 7 years, terminated me as soon as they legally could because I had no clear medical path to return to work. No ‘little cushion’. No severance. Given this employer, I was not surprised.
I filed a claim on my Long-Term Disability policy as soon as my employers disability ran out. My insurance company paid out monthly income from that point at age 60 to the age of 65. My core income did not change even though I was no longer able to work. My investment paid out fourfold.
It was totally out of character for me to spend a sizable amount of money on that disability policy. For 25 years!
#3 – DAILY EXERCISE
On one of my early hospital admissions prior to my transplant, I was talking to one my cardiologists. He was getting to know me. Taking the time to understand who I was. Not many doctors take the time to do that.
I began bemoaning the fact that I had been a very active person all my life and yet here I was. Ever since I was teenager, I had loved exercise. It was like I had a little voice urging me on my whole life. I felt uncomfortable if I went more than a day or two without some significant physical outlet. Nothing crazy. 45 minutes to an hour was all I needed.
I worked out at home, in gyms, on business travel, and on vacations. I played full court basketball once a week in a league for 20 years. I ran. I liked yoga, I lifted weights and even did P90X for a few years. All that and I ended up with heart failure. What a waste, I complained.
He listened quietly nodding. After I was through with my pity party, he looked at me and said I was looking at the situation all wrong. He turned my negative view inside-out and explained in no uncertain terms that had I not been as active and disciplined in my need for physical training that I would not have survived what I was going through. I would be dead now.
My built-in internal drive to be active saved me from an earlier end of life.
#4 – SELLING OUR HOME (a)
When I was in heart failure, prior to my transplant, we had to sell our home because I could not climb a flight of stairs. I could not mow the grass, which I liked to do. Snow removal was out of the question. Ever heard the term “widow maker” to describe a New England snowstorm?
We did not have big house. It was a modest center entrance colonial. Everyone had their own bedroom. We lived there 28 years. We raised our family in that house. We loved it. By that time our girls were grown and gone so downsizing was a logical progression given the big picture.
We started looking around for something that I could manage. Everything on one level. An HOA to cut the grass and shovel the snow. A 55 and over community. Our oldest daughter found us a very nice little place near her about 30 minutes’ drive north close to the New Hampshire border. It was perfect. We sold the house. We bought the new place 5 minutes away from our daughter’s family. We moved.
It was during this period that our grandson was diagnosed with T-Cell Lymphoma. We were all terrified for him. This was a serious and aggressive cancer. The first thing that my grandson needed to do was begin treatment at Tuft Children’s Hospital. Four solid weeks of heavy-duty cancer treatment for my daughter’s 3 year little boy. My daughter lived at the medical center in Boston with him while he underwent this intensive battle.
Being so close to our oldest daughter’s home turned out to be somewhat of an unexpected blessing. We were able to help our son-in-law and the other two older boys through this difficult time. Had we still been in our old home it would have been much harder on everyone.
The timing for our move turned out to be exactly what we needed.
#5 – SELLING OUR HOME (b)
We sold our home during the hottest real estate market in history. We knew it was a good time to sell. It was smack in the middle of COVID and counterintuitively, the real estate market was wild. Offers were more than asking. Inspections were waived. People were paying cash.
A few extra unexpected shekels helped given that I was not going to be working anytime soon, or ever again.
#6 – EMPLOYMENT TERMINATION
When I was a teen, my Dad told me to find work that I loved. If I could not do that, he said, find work that you can do. Sales was a job that early on, I found I could do. Later, it became a job I loved. So that is what I did my entire work life.
During my career I had worked for a handful of large, world class organizations. Good companies. At times I loved my work. Some managers were better than others. Maybe you can relate. My changes in employment were driven by changes in technology and acquisitions.
As I mentioned above, my employer during the depths of my health struggles decided they no longer needed my services. I was terminated with a letter in the mail from HR.
My last employer was my least favorite. Not even close. If you have read the comic strip Dilbert, then you will understand. I have never served in the armed forces, but I have heard that in the Army if they want your opinion, they will tell it to you. It was a daily barrage of bad information, broken promises to my customers, and very poor leadership. That was the last culture that I worked in. I wanted out. I tried to find other work before my heart failure flared up. I was in my late 50s and a middle manager. The biggest lie in American corporate culture is that they do not age discriminate. I was trapped.
My misfortune happened to come at a time in my life when losing my job was a blessing. If it had come at time when I was enjoying my work, as I had for most of my career, it would have been so much harder. I felt like I was released from a prison.
#7 -RETIREMENT – 401K
My first day of work. A real job. Full time. I had just graduated from college in Duluth Minnesota. A company that no longer exists today, Bell & Howell, interviewed on campus and I got the job. It was the fall of 1981.
I sat across from my new manager nervously filling out the on-boarding paperwork. There were several forms. I was sliding each one after completion over to my boss and he was looking them over closely and adding them to the stack. He stopped.
He was holding the 401k form in his hand and noted I had declined. I did not want money withheld for retirement. I was 22 years old. He asked if was married? Did I have a house? Was I supporting any children? No, to all the above. At the time I was living above a bakery by myself in downtown Duluth and my rent was $80 a month. The sales job I was starting came with a company car.
He gently slid the 401K form back to me across the table. He explained I should take the maximum 10%. The company was going match up to 5%. I hesitated. When I did. He said “Let me make this clearer. If you don’t take the 10% maximum I won’t hire you. We stop all of this right here and you can leave.” He then went on to say something to the effect if someone does not have the brains to take that benefit, then they can’t be a very good in business.”
I took the form and changed it to 10%. In my 40 years of work I always took that amount even at different companies that had different matching rules.
PERSONAL INSIGHTS
I struggled with how to present this important aspect of my transplant journey. How should I format it? What should the title be? How can I communicate my beliefs without force feeding my faith on others?
A friend of mine who regularly attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings told me once that an expression they commonly use is “there are no coincidences”. Meaning, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It is all part of God’s plan, mysterious as that is.
I could list a hundred other examples:
- Being adopted by the best Mom & Dad a child could have.
- Finding marriage with my wife Lauren.
- My three lovely daughters and the spouses and grandchildren we have.
- and on and on and on
While my health has been very hard on me, my lovely wife Lauren and my family, looking back I feel like I have had a guardian angel looking out for me this entire time. My entire life. God’s presence has been with me. When I do things that turn out to be very good for me and my family, were those guiding thoughts whispered in my ear by my Lord and Savior? Is that how it works? Was I awakened out of a dead sleep to put an email on a hospital website by my angel?
Conversely, when I do things that are sinful, are those evil forces pulling me away? When I am selfish? When I am unforgiving? When I over emphasize money or the stuff it buys (idolatry)? When I judge others?
Jelly Roll, the music artist, has a perfect song entitled “Need a Favor”. In the song he is lamenting that he only prays when he is really needs God’s help. He goes on to ask how he can expect redemption if he only talks to God when he needs something. YouTube it up and play the version that shows the lyrics.
I have never in my life prayed more than when my heart failure started. I prayed fervently, when I thought, I was going to die. I should have been praying just as fervently for the first 59 years. During my life my faith was always there. If I had one regret, it’s that I should have prayed more. Prayed for thanks. Prayed for forgiveness. Prayed for guidance. Prayed for others.
I am so grateful that has God has been so good to me. Carrying me. Guiding me. Showering me with grace and blessings that I do not deserve.
© 2026 Phil Liaboe. All rights reserved.
My Heart Transplant Journey 
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