By Phil Liaboe
MUSIC
Strange as it sounds music has been a big part of my journey. I have some pretty varied taste in music including rock, country, gospel, folk music and jazz. If I like a particular song, I usually listen carefully to the lyrics and try to understand the message. I try to figure out my interpretation. I try to understand why I like it and what it’s telling me. Music is art. As such I believe that any interpretation is correct for the interpreter.
Quoting lyrics in writing is a copyright gray area. While I am drawn to point out specific lyrics, I am not sure that is right or legal. With that in mind, I will provide a YouTube link to the song and it’s lyrics if you decide you want to listen and read.
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I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) – By Ken Rogers and the First Edition
Before Kenny Rogers hit the country music charts with popular songs like “Lucille” and “The Gambler” he was in a rock band called Kenny Rogers and The First Edition. In 1967 The First Edition recorded a song titled “I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)”. I cannot recall how it happened or exactly when, but this old tune became our theme song for the period early in my heart failure when the diagnosis was elusive.
The 1960s style of psychedelic surreal poetry in the lyrics fit perfectly with what was happening to me in those early months. Lauren and I would truck into Boston on a regular basis to be admitted, for testing, for surgery or for consultations. We played that song on the way in just about every time. It lightened the mood somehow even though the message is somewhat dark.
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Maybe It’s Time – From The Sountrack “A Star Is Born”
The soundtrack from the movie remake A Star is Born has a song with the title “Maybe It’s Time”. This film came out during the middle of my tribulations. Change is hard. Regardless of if the change being adopted is adding something good or subtracting something bad, it is tough sledding. Like a lot of folks I suppose I have tried to better myself during my life at times by addition, other times by subtraction. I fell short more times than I claimed victory. I had never had much experience with forced changes. Or changes that affected others. Even today it is hard to contain my emotions listening to this song.
In just a few a short weeks some of the changes that were forced upon me, my amazing wife Lauren, and my family were as follows:
- I was terminated from employment, likely never to return to the workforce. I had worked hard. I had prided myself on being a provider to my family.
- We needed to sell house because I could not easily or safely climb stairs. We lived there 28 years.
- We needed to buy a new house and move. A lot of hard work that fell mostly on Lauren.
- We elected to sell a modest little camp in Maine where for 15 years we spent much of our summer weekends and vacations. It was just too much.
- Driving privileges were revoked by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts due to repeated shocks by my implanted defibrillator. I got a taste for what many elderly people deal with when they need to give up driving. I was 59.
- I had to quit a weekly basketball league I was a part of for 20 years. It was a great crew of guys and I hated to leave.
- I was unable to travel due to the risk of something happening while I was away and being in a location unprepared to help me. I could not visit my Mom in AZ for a couple of years.
I did gain a whole new perspective. In my past when someone told me about a serious medical problem, I would attempt empathy. I would listen and ask questions. Offer to help at times. Even with that I never really understood the implications of these kinds of calamities until this all hit me. Now I do. It is really hard. On everyone. Because of me.
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One Minute You’re Here – By Bruce Springsteen
I have been a Bruce Springsteen superfan for most of my life. His voluminous library of recorded original music spans all the categories I previously mentioned. He is someone I have admired for making the most of his God given talent. He has avoided many of the trappings and pitfalls that ensnare people who have global success. And he keeps working and creating, even now.
Recently he released an album entitled Letter to You. In that album is a song called “One Minute You’re Here”. The person in the song is experiencing something that will happen to each of us. Death. Like nearly every song he has recorded that has a painful theme this one has hope. The character learns something unexpected. There is hope and anticipation. I even hear a whiff of a reference to the 23rd Psalm. Is the character singing to someone who has already passed, who he is going to meet?
For a long time, I was on the edge. The edge is out there somewhere for us all. For me it was right in front of me for over 3 years. This song spoke to me. One of the tasks I undertook goes under the heading of “getting my affairs in order”.
I showed Lauren how to access my passwords. I walked her through our retirement accounts and our automatic bill payments. I showed her the few bill payments we have that are not automatic. I made sure all the other documents were in order. I tried to show her everything I do just in case, which did not take long because it is not very much.
I spoke with Fidelity Investments and asked about what the process is, you know, if I die. Who does Lauren call? I was worried the subject would be awkward. That it might trip them up. Wrong again! It was explained to me that it’s a very common situation that they are faced with and they are prepared to deal with it. He walked me right through it. It’s no problem. I was glad to hear that, I guess. Part of me wished that my sudden death would have been a bigger issue.
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Dr. Wu By Steely Dan
I realize I already mentioned Dr. Wu by Steely Dan. I was a big Steely Dan fan as a kid. There is quote out there somewhere that says that listening to Steely Dan will make you 10% cooler. Sadly, that did not work out for me, but I did think their music was terrific. Regarding Dr. Wu I also read that the song is about a returning Vietnam Veteran who is hooked on heroine (Katy). I don’t believe it was ever confirmed by the band. Regardless, the song fit nicely with how I was feeling clambering back to reality the hours and days after transplant. And it’s an amazing piece of music. See you can identify each instrument
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Turning now to the more positive and inspirational music that has been a part of this journey for me. Three songs helped me get through.
Badlands by Bruce Springsteen
Fight Song by Rachel Platten
No Surrender by Bruce Springsteen
I Can Only Imagine – by MercyMe
More recently I was visiting my Mom after I had undergone the transplant. She lives in Phoenix. She is 101 years as of this writing and has suffered a stroke. The left side of her body was paralyzed, and she is in a nursing home. She has significant dementia.
My Mom and Dad planted the seed of faith in me and they were lifelong Lutherans. My Mom’s pastor was visiting during one of my long days by her side and we got to talking about her holy journey. The pastor told me about a movie and song that I was unfamiliar with. The movie and song are under same name “I Can Only Imagine”. The song was recorded by the band MercyMe. After visiting my Mom that evening I watched the movie on my iPad back in my hotel room.
BOOKS
I love to read and listen to books. All kinds. Whatever catches my interest at the time. Even some off beat topics. I recently read about everything you could ever want to know about worms. These little guys are amazingly instrumental in just about everything that takes place underfoot.
Listening to books has replaced music when I am driving anywhere. I get some great recommendations from friends and family. If you are reading this because you have struggles like mine, some of these books might also interest you. If you have a favorite or two I would love to hear from you in the comment or contact page. I will leave it to the reader to investigate each of these as you see fit and avoid giving you my summary, review or opinion. They are all non-fiction.
- The Story of a Heart: Two Families, One Heart, and the Medical Miracle That Saved a Childs Life by Dr. Rachel Clarke
- Your Heart, Your Scars by Adina Talve-Goodman
- The Open Heart Club: A Story About Birth and Death and Cardiac Surgery by Gabriel Brownstein
- Rethinking Medications by Dr. Jerry Avron
- In My Time of Dying: How I Came Face to Face with the Idea of an Afterlife by Sebatian Junger
- Spare Parts: The Story of Medicine Through the History of Transplant Surgery by Paul Craddock
- When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner
Some of these books are only tangentially related to heart transplant, or heart failure. I could list more that go a few steps further afield and I might later. This is a good start. I hope they educate, comfort, and inspire you.
Phil Liaboe
© 2026 Phil Liaboe. All rights reserved.
My Heart Transplant Journey 
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